BOYFRIEND ISSUES

It's been so long since I read an English novel last time, my writing skills have regressed dramatically. But still, I do need to write my current feelings down somewhere, which can't be my original blog; since the topic is somwhow vulnerable.

So, I'm coming from pretty racist country, which I don't need to name, since that doesn't matter. Ironically, my origins belong to the race that's perceived to be inferior, a terror to the country's being.

But that's not the issue either.

I neither care nor think about this fact. 99% of my life had been spent by vigorous studying, self-judging, and the job that I will be doing for the rest of my life is probably one of the hardest jobs on earth. (No, I won't be an astranaut.) Even now, I dream of lives that are going to slip away from my fingers as I desperately try to help them as my patients, and the risk of losing them is frustrating.

I think I made it pretty clear, that I have my reasons to not care about my origins, or the political issues regarding my country. But my boyfriend doesn't think so. He talks about political news all the time. And in the rare moments that he doesn't talk about politics, is when he plays with his rabbit. I try to listen to him as possible as I can. And whenever I lose it, he makes some unpleasant jokes about how ignorant I am towards our country, and somehow he brings the jokes to the point where I become one of the scary creatures that my country perceives as a source of terror. He means to be funny eventually, since I'm the least person that looks scary (I wear ribbons and pink is my favorite color, you guess...), but after 3 years of hearing the same stories, it sounds DISTURBING...

So I discussed to him about my feelings. I wanted to write this whole thing on the blog in which I use my mother language, but since the language belongs to a country that harbors millions of scary racist creatures, I might as well be attempting suicide if I do this. So, no thanks. I rather express my feelings on a blog that noone reads at all, in a language that I'm not used to as a literature tool.

Bye...