WOODY ALLEN

Today my boyfriend and I watched a Woody Allen movie, called "Cafe Society".

Just like a typical Woody Allen movie, it was full of betrayal, comedy, drama etc.

My boyfriend was really loving as always. He hugged me, caressed my back, and held my hand throughout the movie. He does that all the time.

Then he realized something was going wrong. I'd been avoiding him for a while. And today, I was kind of cold-hearted towards his loving attitude.

He asked me if everything was alright.

I said yes, not convincingly.

After the movie ended, I confessed him:

"I'm afraid to be cheated on"

He told me that for some reason, I lost my trust on him. He didn't like this coming, but he realized it.

He told me he trusted me no matter what, and wished me to do the same. He said he's trying to work on gaining my trust back, if only he could know the reason behind my loss of trust.

I know the reason, if only I could tell him.

I think I'm a suggestible type. I get too affected by what my parents tell me about the people (probably because of my gut feeling that's coming from my former experiences. Ever since I gained friendships that my parents did not fully approve, I always got betrayed. So deep down I trust the experiences of my family more than I trust my instincts. So I let them affect me)

Ever since my relationship started getting serious with my boyfriend, my parents started questioning whether he's the right guy for me.

And they've been making harsh comments about him for a while. Not because he deserves them (actually, all they say is true about him. But they don't irritate me as long as my parents stress on them in a mean way. You know, in a way that parents scold their children brutally).

That probably got to me.

I hope I won't make any mistakes... I feel a little bit vulnerable.